Upper Management Speak

What does upper management really mean with these common "buzz" terms?

In process
So wrapped up in red tape that the situation is almost hopeless.

Will look into it
By the time the wheel makes a full turn, we assume you will have forgotten about it too.

A Program
Any assignment that can't be completed by one telephone call.

Expedite
To confound confusion with commotion?

Channels
The trail left by the interoffice memo

Coordinator
Some guy who has a desk between two expeditors.

Consultant
Any ordinary guy more than 50 miles from home.

To Activate
To make carbons and add more names to the memo.

To Inplement a Program
Hire more people and expand the office.

Under Consideration
Never heard of it.

Under Active Consideration
We're looking in the files for it.

A Meeting
A mass mulling by master minds.

A Conference
A place where conversation is substituted for the dreariness of labor and the loneliness of thought.

To Negotiate
To seek a meeting of minds without knocking together of heads.

Re-orientation
Getting used to working again.