New office terms for the 2000’s
Make sure you’re aware of the newest lingo for the latest in office terminology for the 2000’s. Study these and you can fit into virtually any office as an established professional.

Assmosis
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss.

Dilberted
To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."

Driveby
Telephone solicitor who hangs up immediately after you start asking too many questions.

Flight Risk
Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.

404
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him ... he's 404, man."

Generica
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. Used as in: "We were so lost in generica that I forgot what city we were in."

Ohno-second
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

Percussive Maintenance
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

Umfriend
A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Dyan, my ... um ... friend."

Cube Farm
An office filled with cubicles.

Mouse Potato
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

Starter Marriage
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

Stress Puppy
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

Swiped Out
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

Tourists
People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. Example - "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."

Treeware
Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.

Xerox Subsidy
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace