Welcome to the Peon Gallery.
Ever get the feeling that you’re alone or lost in a maze of workers? Well, you aren’t alone. Here our local peon shares his thoughts and observations.

Quality work
Speedy delivery
Friendly service
(Pick any two)

Meetings: Traffic jams of the business world.

We’re #1
Oh, wait, that’s just the thermometer reading…

People here confuse overseeing my work with overlooking my work.

Think of it: You actually APPLIED for this job!

Yes, sure, okay, fine, uh-huh, yep, you bet, whatever, you got it, affirmative, I agree, buzz off, no problem, of course, okey dokey, all right, sounds good, naturally, yessireebob, I concur, why not, yup, certainly, go for it

Some employees are like chocolate Easter bunnies.
They look cute and sweet, but are actually hollow.
And sometimes you just want to bite their heads off.

Fridays are already good enough. We could really use a few Good Mondays.

Think Tank? We can’t even fill a Think Thimble…

This project is like fishing in a leaky boat: It started out a-luring, but now I’m just trying to stay afloat.

We used to group our jobs together by batches.
Now we lump them together in different botches.

Our company motto is P.D.Q.
It first meant "Productive, Dependable Quality."
Then it meant "Properly Done, Quickly.’
Now I think it stands for "Please Don’t Quit."

They say that laughter is the best medicine.
But POINTING and laughing may be unhealthy in the workplace.

It’s not always good for the environment to spread out loads of compost.
For instance, take the WORK environment…

This isn’t an off-the-wall company. With all these cubicles it’s a without-walls company.

The phone call you’re waiting for will come as soon as you leave your desk.

They say you only learn by making mistakes. By now, I must be a genius!

You’re at the top of my list
(Of things to ignore)

My life isn’t a bed of roses, but I’ve been given enough fertilizer to start one.

Never drink and smoke in bed, it’s too dangerous. Do it at work.

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. Right now that line is ten items or less.

It’s not finished yet because:
   Time is such a nebulous concept.
    I was feeling too sick to work on it
    I was feeling too good to work on it
    You didn’t sound serious when you asked for it.
    It’s a testosterone/estrogen thing.
    You didn’t mention chocolate.

Been here.
Done this.
Can I go home now?

Did you ever feel this was all a bad Jerry Springer episode?

A lot of times when I say "Hi" I also want to suggest the word "colonic."

I don’t want to call your bluff….. but I wouldn’t mind pushing you over it!

People who only do things by the book usually haven’t read all the way to the ending.

I’d like to seize the bull by the horns, but that’s not the end I’m usually presented with.

I have Titanic creative abilities,
but I’m surrounded by iceburgs.

When things are hectic, some people get cranking…
and others just get cranky.